Not Everyone Will Like You

Have you ever been resented for no apparent reason? 

I’ve been disliked for reasons that were unclear to me.. A direct approach to resolving conflict would have been kinder and more effective in every situation.  

In one case, a person made her disgust for me well known through words and actions. She did not feel a need for a resolution, content to continue open mistreatment. Hate me to my face if you wish. Real I can handle. 

Another disgruntled lady was polite to my face but spread her complaints to others.  I learned about this woman’s disgust for me secondhand.  Hurt ran much deeper when I found grievances against me had been shared continually.

In both cases, the root of the dislike was differences in the way we approached and did things.  

The lesson learned is to be flexible and understanding.  People handle tasks according to their experiences and education.  Extend grace for differences and remember not all approaches have to be identical to be effective.  Be willing to listen, learn, and compromise.

Communicate with people who are unlikable to you.  Often getting to know an individual's background will explain a lot.  Be direct when necessary.  Ask questions regarding why they do things the way they do.  If issues continue, tell them! Speak the truth in love.  A hard truth spoken directly is more loving than harsh complaints behind a person's back.

Until proper communication is extended, responsibility is owned solely by the “hater.”  When shared directly two people can work together to come up with a solution.  The disgruntled party may find that their input was welcome.  Mature people are willing to learn from others, make efforts to understand, and respect differences.